


Keeping His Oath

by Bethann, Minniemoggie



Series: Legendary Friendship [28]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Family, Family Feels, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Glittering Caves, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sea-longing, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethann/pseuds/Bethann, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minniemoggie/pseuds/Minniemoggie
Summary: Legolas continues to suffer from the Sea Longing, so Gimli must make some tough decisions about his own future.





	1. Legolas pov

**Author's Note:**

> It will help if you have read the notes on this A/U and if you have read some of the stories that come before this one, especially "The Aqueduct", "Skin Deep", and "The Heir Apparent". This story takes place approximately ninety years after the events in "The Heir Apparent" and about 110 years after the Ring War. At this point Gimli's nephew, Greirr is 130 years old, which would be the equivalent of fifty something in human terms and Gimli is around 250, which is pretty old even for a dwarf. Gimli's mother, Lady Vonild, would have died some years before the events of this story and Gimli's sister, Dorbryn filled her shoes as the Matriarch of Gimli's family. Legolas is around 900 years old, which in our A/U is about 100 years shy of becoming an adult. We know this does not agree with Tolkien's canon, but we have respectfully decided to make our own rules! 
> 
> We love hearing your (polite) comments!

Pounding, pounding, pounding … Waves crashing on the shore, the sounds of gulls crying overhead, the tang of salt in the air … To the Sea, to the Sea! The white gulls are crying, The wind is blowing, and the white foam is flying.

“Hir Nin”

I attempt to refocus my eyes, where am I, who am I? my mind is filled with visions of the sea, swan ships, sails, sails filling with wind, ships swinging on their ropes, straining to go west, go west …

I am moving but how I cannot tell, or perhaps I do not care

“Hir Nin can you hear me?”

The voice is familiar and insistent and I feel I should answer but it takes every ounce of determination I still possess to lift my head, and try to focus my eyes. I realise I am on horseback but not riding. I appear to be cradled in someone’s arms which is strange, and the horse is galloping as if it needs to be somewhere very swiftly but I do not know where or why but I know I do not like being carried like an infant and so begin to struggle to free myself from the arm that holds me so securely. I must make some sort of disgusted noise as I find I cannot break free.

“Captain Galathil, Prince Legolas is awake” this time the voice calls out quite loudly as if speaking to someone else and I feel the horse being drawn to a walk and then I am being handed over like a bundle to another pair of arms.

“I wish to ride on my own” I manage.

“No”

I frown ferociously. if I am a prince then I ought to be obeyed.

“I want to.”

There is a sigh from somewhere above me, “the last time you tried to ride on your own you fell off.”

“I never fall”

“You have fallen twice since we left Ithilien. The second time you strained your shoulder.”  
This voice seems implacable and before I open my mouth to protest further the horses are set in motion again and we are once again thundering along and my complaints are ignored so I sink back into the abyss of my thoughts confused though they are.

I do not know how long we have been travelling at this speed but obviously the elves whose horses surround me are in a hurry to get somewhere or get me somewhere but where?

“Captain Galathil” saying the word brings my memory back to the present, Galathil is my captain of guard, the one sent by my father to guard and guide me, and the other elves are also from my demesne in Ithilien. But where we are now I do not know, so I ask, “where are we?”

“We are almost there I can see the Deeping Wall.”

I try and raise my head but the pain is too intense. It aches so much and my throat is sore as if I have been shouting although I have no memory of doing so. 

“Try to relax Lord Legolas. You will soon feel better.”

Ah I have been unwell! That explains things, although elves do not normally fall ill. It is too much a puzzle to concern myself with now so I close my eyes and let myself be carried away on the tide as the sounds of the sea fill my senses once again.

When next I surface from that place that seems to increasingly call to me, things seem to be happening about me but not including me directly in what is happening. Now there are new voices and one that I know and treasure. I try and turn my head to find the source of the voice, for in this world where nothing seems solid anymore here is an anchor to which I can cling.

“Gimli?”

Reassurance comes with a simple rumbled response and a pat on the arm.

“Aye Lamb, I am here. All is well. Come Galathil bring him in. Hurry!” 

We are moving again, out of the air and into the dark of the caves and I realise I am in Aglarond. I feel the tension I had not realised I was under seem to drain out of me. I am almost limp with relief, for I am with Gimli and he has told me all will be well. I know I can trust my dwarf.

I curl up into a ball and let myself drift again and do not rouse until I find myself being undressed. When I begin to object I hear Gimli telling me to lie still and to let him do what is needful. The tone is such that I choose not to argue. I am compliant and still.

Above my head Gimli and Galathil carry on a conversation as if I am not here. I feel as if while part of my body remains, my spirit is slipping further and further away from Middle Earth.

“By the look of it, this has to be the worst episode yet.” I can hear the concern in Gimli’s voice

Galathil acknowledges this concern, “Aye Lord Gimli I have never known it as bad as this before. He has become disorientated and apathetic. When it came to him wandering unarmed in the woods I knew that we could no longer deal with things alone despite his determination to keep silent.” Obviously something makes Galathil add, “He made us swear we would not send for his Adar or for you.”

 

“Foolish prideful elfling,” a hand brushes back my hair from my face which takes away the sting of the words.

There is a most un-elflike snort from Galathil “He takes after his sire in that regard; they are both too stubborn for their own good.”

“So how did ye get him to agree to come here?”

“As Saellind pointed out to me, Lord Legolas only required our oath not to send for someone. He did not say anything about us bringing him here. As for asking permission, I did not do so. I suppose you might say I kidnapped him and he will likely be angry when he recovers sufficiently to realise it. I find I care not, for my first oath was to my king to keep his child safe, and that I have done my best to do. You can help him Lord Gimli?” 

This last is almost a plea.

“I will do my best lad. Do not look so worried. I am sure now he is here we can pull him round. We have to be able to,” he adds almost desperately. “When your messenger arrived this morning telling me you were following directly behind with your prince, I could not have been more surprised, for yon elfling here has said nothing of the return of his illness in his letters. In fact he gave the impression that all was well and so was he, a falsehood that we will be having words over when he is recovered. Ai! I have never seen him so pulled down,. He has ever been thin, but he is scarce more than a bag of bones now.”

“He has not been eating, we have tried.” Galathil sounds defensive.

“Aye ye do not need to tell me that, lad. I know ye have his best interests at heart and would do aught for him. Well he will eat here ye may be sure, even if I have to feed him every mouthful myself.”

I wonder why they are so concerned for me but find I have no energy available to ask the question instead I continue to listen to Galathil telling Gimli of the last few weeks in Ithilien.

It seems that I have become more remote, more elusive as the sea longing, as Galathil calls it, took me in its thrall. Apparently I have taken to wandering, have been unable to concentrate on the governance of the colony, have been found sitting staring off into the distance saying when challenged that I no longer hear the song of the trees but am consumed by the sound of the sea. I do not fully understand what is so frightening about this, for the sea sounds just as pleasing to me at the moment as the trees have done in the past. 

Which reminds me that here underground I hear neither the sea nor the trees and for some unfathomable reason that is a comfort to me.

Someone is shaking my arm to gain my attention.

“Lamb, I need you to swallow this draft. Can you open your mouth for me?”

I could but experience has taught me that when someone tries to force liquid down your throat it is going to be foul tasting. I clamp my lips closed and shake my head. There are two almost identical sighs and then Gimli speaks again, as he lifts my head with one large hand. 

“When I said can you, I didn’t mean you had a choice elfling! Now open your mouth.” 

I shake my head again, but Gimli catches my chin with his free hand and forces my mouth open. I find my mouth full of some pungent liquid, which I have to swallow unless I wish to choke. 

“Now,” Gimli helps me lie down again and covers me with a quilt, “get some sleep. I will be here when ye wake. Captain Galathil I suggest ye and your escort do the same. There will be time enough for us all to talk later.”

“I would prefer to sit with you,”

“If ye wish it I will not stop ye, but the draught is a powerful one, one that Aragorn made up for such occasions as these, and I used the maximum dose allowable. He is likely to sleep until tomorrow” Gimli looks down at me smiling softly, “rest Lamb …” 

I blink at him already feeling the effects of the drug, which is doing its work swiftly. Soon I am fading into sleep but a sleep that is blessedly free of dreams of the sea or anything else.


	2. Gimli's POV

I stand just outside the gates anxiously watching the horizon for elven rider with a messenger named Tegelad who looks just as worried as I feel. It is he who interrupted my meeting with the Marshall of the West-mark to inform me that my elfling was being rushed here at the fastest possible speed. Captain Galathil was extremely worried and Prince Legolas had appeared to be mostly unaware of his whereabouts when last Tegelad had seen them. The sea longing had struck his prince some time ago, only this time it was much worse than ever before. All efforts to bring him around had failed and they hoped that I would be able to help him as I have always done in the past. 

“He is in a bad way,” Tegelad had warned me, “but if anyone can reach him it is you, Lord Gimli.”

I was touched by his faith in me, but doubts assailed me. Always before my lad has come to me when he needed help in recovering from an episode of the sea longing, but this time he evidently had ordered his elves not to send for his father or me either one. That alone tells me that this time it is different and Legolas knows it. He must realize that his condition has deteriorated so much that those who love him will begin encouraging him to give in to the call of the sea and sail West. It is something he does not wish to hear, so the longer he keeps us in the dark, the longer he won’t have to face the inevitable. He will not be able to endure forever, and he has been dealing with this issue for over one hundred years already, stubborn child that he is. 

Long ago I vowed to myself that if I was able when the time came for my elfling to take the straight road that I would sail with him. I have never revealed this to him, for I had no wish to argue with him over it and I know he would have something to say about it. No doubt he will think it is too great of a sacrifice. And since sailing was not an immediate concern, I felt it better to wait to inform him of my choice rather than to spend years debating with him about it. But if Tegelad is correct, this visit may be the time when I will have to tell him of my plan. It is a conversation I do not relish having, but I will have my way in the end no matter what he says. I have sworn to care for the lad and if that includes sailing into the unknown, then that is what I intend to do, with or without his agreement. 

But first things first. If what Tegelad tells me is correct, he is in no condition to think clearly about anything at the moment, let alone make plans for such an important event as sailing West. My first obligation is to get him well again. I say a quick prayer that I will be able to do so this time. 

Finally I catch sight of horses galloping at top speed over the hills and as the riders come into view I recognize Guard Captain Galathil in front, and before him is my Legolas being held upright by one strong arm. The lad is slumped slightly forward so that long golden hair covers his face, and it is not until they stop right before me and Galathil pushes the hair back that my heart nearly stops. I have never seen him looking so run down. Dark circles surround sunken eyes and his normally nearly glowing complexion has been replaced by skin that is ashen and dry. His poor lips are chafed and cracked and his cheekbones are more prominent than before. Too prominent. I have never seen him so skinny. 

Tegelad steps forward to help Galathil slide down without jostling their prince too much, and I immediately come forward to place a hand on my lad’s brow.

“Legolas? Can ye hear me lad?”

His eyes flutter, but he closes them again as if the light is painful. 

“Gimli?” he manages to whisper, which I take as a hopeful sign. At least he recognizes my voice.

“Aye Lamb, I am here. All is well,” I pat his arm to assure him of my presence and then motion the guard captain to follow me. “Come Galathil bring him in, hurry.”

My own guard captain takes the lead sending for someone to care for the horses and lead our guests to guest chambers that have been made up for them, while other guards go before us clearing the way so that we can make it back to my quarters unhindered by curious bystanders. I lead Galathil directly into the room that Legolas normally uses when he visits and that Dorbryn has already made ready for him. I assume that Greirr sent word to his mother about what was going on after I contacted him to let him know that he would need to take over my duties until further notice. 

Whatever the case, the bed is made up and a fire lit in the fireplace and Dorbryn herself stands wide eyed and ready to help on my request, though she says nothing for the moment. Galathil gently deposits his prince on the bed, and Legolas immediately begins shivering and curls into a ball. And for the first time in memory the elven guard captain seems to lose his considerable equanimity. 

“I…I was afraid we wouldn’t make it,” his admits, his voice trembling with emotion. “he barely spoke the whole time we were traveling, nor could I get him to swallow more than a teaspoon of water at a time. He has gone completely pale, and cold…see?”

He places Legolas’ icy hand in mine and once again I am shocked by how delicate it feels. He has lost too much flesh; so much that even keeping warm is difficult. Still I try to remain calm as I rub his hands between my larger and warmer ones. 

“Well ye did right to come here, Captain, and now that ye have arrived we can begin to do something to help him. The first thing to do is to get him comfortable and warm. I believe my guards have left his things out in the main room, if ye will be so kind as to bring them in.”

As gently as possible I attempt to unbend stiff arms and legs so that I can get the child changed into more comfortable clothing, but when I begin to unfasten his tunic he moans softly and tries to struggle. I do not wish to frighten him, so I speak in a manner he will recognize and understand. 

“Be still, and let me do what needs to be done. Mind me now, elfling!”

Even though the tone is rather stern, it seems to calm him immediately. He does not protest again as I finish undressing him before taking the loose sleep shirt that Galathil has fished out of his bags. I pull it swiftly over his head, threading his arms into the sleeves and then pull the covers up to his chin. All the while Galathil fills me in on what has been going on with my lad over the last few weeks. I am dismayed that his letters to me have been proven to be less than truthful, and again my thought is that he knows the time to sail is upon him and he does not wish to discuss it. But rather than saying so to Galathil, I just assure him that I will be able to get his prince to eat again, even if I have to hand feed him for the rest of my life. 

I reach out to brush the hair out of my lad’s eyes hoping it will soothe him and stop his shivering. Even so it is easy to see he is uncomfortable and possibly in pain, though when I ask him he only responds by squeezing his eyes shut and whimpering quietly. 

“He needs to relax and sleep, and it doesn’t’ look like he will be able to do so on his own,” I observe. “Fortunately we have something that should help.”

I look up to see Dorbryn standing in the doorway and I ask her to mix up the powders Aragorn had made up for the times when my Lad comes to me in need of relief from the sea longing. I instruct her on how to mix up the strongest safe does, and she soon brings it in to me. I almost smile when Legolas predictably refuses to open his mouth when I ask him to do so. It shows that he is not completely beyond reach if he recalls that most concoctions such as this are foul. He refuses a second time, but he is too weak to fight me, so rather than arguing I simply open his mouth and force-feed it to him. He swallows easily enough, and it is hardly any time at all before he is able to open his eyes a little. He says nothing, and only blinks a few times but I can tell the drug is easing his discomfort already. It is a blessed relief. 

“Rest lamb,” I encourage him. “I will guard your sleep and be here when ye wake. Close your eyes. Do not try to fight it child.”

I continue with this litany until I am certain he is deeply asleep and then I turn to see Dorbryn holding another quilt before the fire. Once it has been thoroughly warmed I lift the first quilt and let her replace it with the heated one, and then put the first one on top. It is a trick learned from Lady Vonild for tending the sick. Dorbryn does not comment on his condition, but I cannot help noticing the tears that come to her eyes when I lift the quilt and she catches her first real glimpse of the lad. 

Galathil looks on and for once his expression is easy to read. I can see his concern and his relief, and I can also see that he is deeply exhausted in spite of his insisting that he will sit with me through the night. No doubt it has been a harrowing few weeks and an even more traumatic journey here. We have not always gotten on, but one thing we have in common is our love and concern for Thranduil’s son, and tonight I feel some sympathy for the situation Galathil has found himself in. Legolas put him in a difficult spot by demanding his oath not to send for help. For while Galathil was sent to guard the lad, he has no authority to pull rank and force him to do what is best for himself and so has to rely on threats to tell tales on him, or sneaky measures to make sure he does not come to any harm. Galathil was put in the position to have to choose between obedience to his prince and loyalty to his oath to his king, and while Legolas has done beautifully in his role as Lord of his demesne, he is clearly not making good decisions for himself now. It is unsurprising considering the toll the sea longing is beginning to take on him, but still something must be done. It is my opinion that he can no longer be left to his own devises. Just getting a look at the condition he has managed to get himself into makes that obvious enough. 

Fortunately I have planned for this day, though my original thought was to put the plan into action in another year or so, but another glimpse at the gaunt figure under the quilts lets me know that I will need to speed things up considerably. I will begin to speak to Greirr as soon as I am able. I had not planned on this being my time to retire as Lord of Aglarond, but plans change. Greirr is more than prepared to take up the mantle in my place. He has been preparing for it for more than eighty years and in fact has done so in my absence on several occasions when I have been called away, something that has happened more and more frequently in the last few years that Legolas’ health has begun to decline. 

I feel a slight twinge of sorrow at the thought of leaving this place for I have dedicated a great portion of my life to caring for it and for the folks who dwell here. I have treasured these caverns since first I set eyes on them and have carefully tended them until they are a part of me. A piece of my heart will remain here always. 

But as much as I love this place it is nothing when compared to my love for my elfling, and it is easy to see that he needs me now on a full time basis. Besides I feel affection for the house I helped built in Eryn gîl Ithil as well and no doubt will enjoy life there as well. How I will manage living among elves full time remains to be seen, but it will be good practice for the future when I sail West with my lad, if I am able to set foot on land there. I have no way of knowing if I will be welcomed or not, but either way it will be worth it, for once I have seen my heart son arrive safely I will be able to go to my long rest in peace, even if it ends up being at sea. I know such an outcome would be hard on him but at least this cursed illness will be gone and he will be able to recover in time. It breaks my heart to think of him having to leave his family and his home, but our options are limited. He has no chance of ever getting better as long as he remains here, and he has waited too long to make the journey on his own even if I could allow him to do so. We must begin making plans for it now.

But the first step in doing so is getting him well, or as well as possible this side of the sea. I pull a chair up next to the bed and prepare to spend a long night watching Legolas sleep, for even though he isn’t likely to wake up I am not comfortable leaving him in case there is a change in his condition. I take his hand and stroke it a little for in my experience physical contact seems to help him relax and keep his mind focused in the present, though whether or not he even knows if I am here is uncertain, but it is better than doing nothing.

Dorbryn has already offered Galathil a seat and is now plying him with hot tea and fruit bread. In the hundred years or so that I have known the captain he has come a long way in his acceptance of us lesser races, so he accepts her offer gratefully and warmly thanks her. Dorbryn offers to spend the night so that he can rest promising that we will alert him if there is a need. He is reluctant to do so, but even elves do not have unlimited stamina and he has been riding at top speed for several days under extremely stressful conditions, so with a little more coaxing he follows my sister to the guest quarters where I assume my nephew has welcomed our guests and made them comfortable. 

Afternoon turns to evening as I continue my vigil and I am happy to see that my elfling seems to be sleeping peacefully with not evidence of the dark dreams that often accompany such episodes though my heart twists each time I think about the condition he has managed to get himself into. I have never seen him looking so fragile and ill, but agonizing over it will not make him well. All I can do is prepare my mind and heart for what needs to be done. 

As I sit, I make a mental list of what I must do for the immediate future, both in caring for my lad and in preparing to hand my demesne over to my nephew. Then there is my move to Ithilien to think about. Most of my personal items can be moved easily enough, for I have my own quarters available at Eryn gîl Ithil and it is no trick to add space to the house if necessary. 

I spend the entire night going between making plans and making sure Legolas is warm and comfortable and as untroubled as possible. Around dawn Dorbryn comes to check on us bringing tea and food on a tray. She offers to sit with him while I eat, and then so I can sleep for a while, but I am not keen on leaving him. I do agree to take the time to stretch a bit and change to fresh clothing, but I return inside half an hour, for I wish to be near when Legolas begins to stir.

Dorbryn sighs when she sees me back so soon, but she does not attempt to persuade me again. Rather she asks what she can do to help.

“He needs to eat,” she points out. “the poor child is nothing but a broomstick as Mam would say. Surely he will awaken soon, and I should have something prepared.”

I nod, for that is obviously the place we need to start. It is easy to see that he is dangerously thin and all my best-laid plans will be pointless unless we can get some flesh back on him. 

“He hasn’t eaten for some time according to Galathil,” I tell her. She frowns fiercely reminding me very much of our mother and I feel the need to defend the poor captain. “I am sure they have tried, Dorbryn. The sea longing dulls his appetite and he can be quite stubborn at times, besides the fact that his mind is probably not very clear.”

“Hmmph!” she replies, “well you can convince him if anyone can. Just tell me what you need and I will see to it.”

I very much hope she is right about that, but I’ll admit to being concerned. It is true I have always managed to bring him back in the past, but never from such a state as he is in now. I do not say any of this, but just make some suggestions about what Dorbryn might prepare.

“Something bland and soft to begin with I would say, and liquids. Milk, broth, fruit juice or even tea with plenty of cream. No black tea, or water since we do not wish to fill him up on anything that won’t help him gain weight. He cannot afford it right now.”

“You mustn’t worry so,” she tells me, even though I have said nothing about being concerned. “All will be well soon enough. You will see to it as you always have before. Now go back to your charge and I will see to everything else.”

It is close to an hour later when Legolas finally begins to show signs of waking. I alert my sister and then sit next to him, stroking his hair and whispering quiet words of support. He groans softly and turns his head from side to side, and then his eyes flutter open briefly. Just as before he squeezes them tightly shut as if in pain. I hurry to shade the lamp in case the light is bothering him, but encourage him to try again.

“Come lamb, open your eyes for me. There’s a good lad. Now can ye hear me?”

He only blinks a few times and I can see that he is trying to focus his eyes. 

“I need you to answer me, lamb.”

He groans again and manages to nod almost imperceptibly.

“Well done,” I praise him, “but I want you to try to use words this time if you can. Can you hear me?”

“Y…yes,” he says in a croaked whisper. “Yes Gimli.”

I can barely hear him, but I hurry to offer commendation again as Dorbryn opens the door and hands me a cup of something warm.

“Perfect, and ye recognize me too. Now Dorbryn has made something for you and I need you to drink it for me.”

I lift his head a bit, and when he turns his face away I try another tactic.

“Now elfling, Dorbryn made this special for you. You mustn’t refuse else her feelings will be hurt. You do not want that do you? No? Of course you don’t. That’s my polite lad! Just a bit more then you’re all finished. That’s it…”

The effort it takes to sit up and drink the contents of the cup seems to drain him, so that by the time I have lowered him back to the pillow his eyes have closed again and a moment later his breathing evens back out and he is asleep. But I am pleased when I look at the cup in my hand and see that only a small amount of liquid remains in the bottom. At least it is a start.


	3. Legolas' pov

I wake having slept for the first time in many months without dreaming. It is almost disorientating for the siren song of the sea seems to be muted today. I lie still for a few moments trying to ascertain where I am, and am surprised by a familiar but unexpected voice asking me to open my eyes.

I had not realized they were closed. I am disinclined to make the effort but the voice is insistent and so I do so, only to close them again as the light pains them so.

For a second time the voice entreats me to open my eyes. I do so more cautiously but have difficulty in focusing them on the shadowy shape beside me. He wants to know if I can hear him and I nod but that, it seems, is not enough so I finally make a great effort and whisper, “Yes Gimli.” 

And then I realize who it is who is speaking. Of course it is my dwarf, but when did he arrive in Ithilien? I do not recall his arrival. I frown trying to remember but everything is hazy, my thoughts skittering away. I find concentrating on anything almost impossible.  
However my answer seems to please Gimli enough for he praises me for my efforts and then presses me to drink something which he is holding to my lips.

I do not want to swallow anything for eating and drinking merely makes me nauseous but Gimli is determined and so I swallow what I think must be warm milk but even that simple task exhausts me and even as I am trying to frame a question as to how Gimli is here with me I find myself slipping back into sleep.

My second awakening is less pleasant than the first. I find myself retching and heaving, my body attempting to rid itself of whatever it was I swallowed earlier. Once again Gimli is with me, holding the bowl, rubbing circles on my back and offering me words of comfort.

“Here now Lamb, let me wipe your lips and be rid of this bowl and then I will see about getting ye cleaned up a little. Do ye need to use the facilities?” 

I nod wearily and attempt to stand but Gimli prevents it.

“No need, Lad I will see to everything. You just lie still and let me do what is needful for you.”

I keep my eyes closed while Gimli does what is required as if by not seeing I can pretend the mortifying experience of having someone dealing with such personal needs are not actually happening to me. I should be grateful I know but all I can think of is how humiliated I feel and yet I have not the energy to argue or to do such things as are necessary for myself.

A clean sleep shirt is slipped over my head and the covers tucked in.

“I will not be a minute lad. Just lie quiet and I will soon be back.”

He goes out on these words and I hear him moving about in the bathing chamber next door, before going to speak with someone who is in the main room beyond.

I lie still because moving just increases my feelings of nausea, and I try to gather my thoughts. This is not my bed chamber and yet it is familiar. I risk a quick peek and I am amazed to find I am in my rooms in Aglarond! How I got here I have no idea, but here I am, which explains why Gimli is also here for this is his home.

I doze again, and wake for a third time to find Gimli sitting beside the bed, reading. As soon as I move my head he stands and comes to me, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. 

“Well now awake at last. How do you feel Lamb?”

“Tired, confused, surprised,” I croak

“Tis little wonder. You know where you are though?”

“Aglarond, but how did I get here?”

“You came with Captain Galathil.”

I frown for I have no memory of the journey.

“When?”  
“Ye arrived yesterday.”

“I do not remember.”

“Well there is nothing to concern yourself with for now. All ye have to do is rest and build up your strength a little. There will be time to talk about how ye came to be here later.”

“But …”

“It is not important Lamb! All ye have to do is concentrate on getting well. Do ye think ye might swallow a little clear broth, only the smallest amount? Just so we see if it will not upset your stomach.”

I do not want to risk being sick again, but Gimli is obviously keen for me to attempt it so I allow him to spoon in a few swallows of broth and then wait for a short time. I fear my stomach will rebel, but it settles and I find myself feeling a little better although still bewildered.

What has been happening that has made me so unaware of myself or my surroundings? There is only one answer to that: the sea longing.

I have suffered from it since the day we took ship in the Pelargir. At first it was not so difficult to deal with it, for all I had to do was distract myself, and it would be subdued, but over the years the bouts have become more frequent and more severe. Although I have done my best to hide the worst effects from those who love and care for me, it has become more difficult to do so, so that I found it easier to avoid them rather than worry them over a situation they cannot change.

I made my choice years ago. I knew the risks and thought I was prepared for the consequences but it has been harder than I realized and more debilitating not just physically but emotionally as well. 

The song I sang after the Battle at the Black Gate haunts my waking and sleeping hours now 

To the Sea, to the Sea! The white gulls are crying,  
The wind is blowing, and the white foam is flying.  
West, west away, the round sun is falling.  
Grey ship, grey ship, do you hear them calling,  
The voices of my people that have gone before me?  
I will leave, I will leave the woods that bore me;  
For our days are ending and our years failing.  
I will pass the wide waters lonely sailing.  
Long are the waves on the Last Shore falling,  
Sweet are the voices in the Lost Isle calling,  
In Eressëaut, in Elvenhome that no man can discover,  
Where the leaves fall not: land of my people for ever!

Days go by when I am caught in the thrall of the sea, when I know not what I am doing or where I am. My body has begun to be effected. I have lost weight, for my appetite is gone. My hands shake so that some days I cannot hold my bow, but no matter what I will keep my promise to Aragorn and remain in Middle Earth while he lives even though the last time he saw me he begged me to consider sailing West. I cannot do that. I have sworn an oath to stay with Gimli, until he goes to his long rest. As his adopted son it is my duty to deal with his obsequies and I will do it no matter the cost to my health.

Gimli re-enters and beams at me when he sees that I have somehow managed to keep the broth inside me at least so far. 

“Well now Lamb, if ye are awake and intent on staying awake shall we talk? Have ye remembered how ye came to be here?”

My brow furrows, “I do not recall the journey at all except in the vaguest way, or even why I was coming here.”

He sees my frustration at this and pats my hand.

“Well now ye came here because this is where ye needed to be! Ye have been suffering from the sea-longing have ye not, despite telling me that ye were well?”

I blush at this last comment for it is true enough. I did do my best to deceive Gimli, and deliberately kept from him how difficult my life was when I wrote my regular letter to him. I have done similar things with my own Adar. It is not something I am proud of doing, but worrying them when there is little they can do seems to be better at least it does for me. I suspect Gimli may take a contrary view.

“Can ye tell me why ye did that?”

I search my regrettably hazy memory, to divert the way the conversation is going and come up with a recollection of something Gimli said earlier.

“You said I came with Galathil?”

“Aye and Saellind as well.”

Once again I wonder how I cannot remember about my journey here. What is puzzling and concerning is the fact that both Galathil and Saellind accompanied me here. I cannot think that I would have wanted them to both be absent from the colony at the same time as me.

“Why did they both need to come?”

 

“Ah now, well the fact that ye cannot answer that question yourself ought to give ye a clue, Lamb.”

“I do not see how!” I grumble. “It has never been the practice for all three of us to be absent from the colony at the same time except at dire need …”

I stop then and look up at Gimli who merely raises his eyebrows as if that is sufficient. I frown once more doing my best to think through what need would send my two commanders off from Eryn gîl Ithil and then my clouded mind clears momentarily.

“They came because of me?”

“Aye lad. Ye had become so unwell that they took the decision to bring ye here to me.”

“But they should not have done so!” bursts from my lips before I can prevent it, “they were under oath not to tell anyone about my … my …” I am unsure what to call it so merely say, “condition.”

“An oath ye had no business making them take! And ye may take that scowl off your face Elfling, because they did not break their oatth since they didn’t tell anyone. They merely brought ye to me, which tells me they have rather more sense than ye have shown” Gimli growls. 

I glower as a large finger wags in my face. 

And do not let me hear ye have taken either one of them to task for doing what was right or else ye and I will be having words! Think on!”

Since I am not in any fit state to withstand any kind of discussion or even words with my guardian I mumble that I will be careful what I say.

“Aye ye do that, and do not think I will not be watching to make sure ye keep your word! And if ye are thinking of being sneaky and doing something when I am not around I tell ye now, that should I get the merest hint of any such thing I will be writing to your father and telling him exactly what state ye are in and that ye have been keeping us both in the dark deliberately.”

“You would not!” 

The thought of my father being told of what is going on terrifies me for I know what he will say, what he has been saying these last few years, that it is time for me to take ship. So far I have avoided letting anyone else know this, for should Gimli or Aragorn get even a whiff of Ada’s wishes, they would all work together to send me on one of the swan ships into the West and I am determined not to go, not while the last of my mortal friends remains on Arda.

Gimli gives me a ferocious glare.

“I will if it is necessary and do not think otherwise elfling! Now I am going to get ye some more broth and ye will do your best to swallow it all so we can begin your rehabilitation and then when ye are a little stronger we can talk about what should be done for the best.”

“What do you mean?”

I fear I already know the answer and yet have to ask even so.

My dwarf takes my hand again.

“Ye canna go on as ye are Lamb. Tis no good pretending. The time has come for hard choices to be made. But that conversation can wait until ye are on the road to recovery which means plenty of rest, good food and doing as ye are bid. Are ye clear on that?”

So it is as I feared. Gimli, like my father, is already thinking and planning for me to sail. Well they will both be disappointed, but since there is benefit to be gained by arguing, I nod my head but am careful not to agree out loud to all that is being said. I do mean to keep my promise as far as the first part of Gimli’s words are concerned, but no amount of persuasion or threats will change my mind as far as sailing is concerned. I will keep my oath to remain with my dwarven guardian until it is time for him to journey beyond the veil no matter the cost or the pain it may cause me.


	4. Gimli's POV

I hurry to the kitchen to where Thorûr has joined Dorbryn for break of fast. Since Mam passed some years ago, I have taken to eating in the public dining halls frequently, but of a morning, my sister and brother-in-law join me most of the time. Dorbryn has little confidence in my ability to feed myself, and like our mother feels it is her duty to see to it that no one in her family goes hungry. As often as not we are also joined by her son, daughter-in-law and grandson, but today Greirr and his family are not present.

No doubt they will show themselves some time today, for Greirr and Legolas are still quite close in spite of the fact that Greirr is now a middle aged father and second in command here in Aglarond. In fact Greirr’s son Galinn is now closer to Legolas in terms of life stage, but they have never really gotten very close and I have not encouraged it. Galinn is a good lad, strong and energetic like his father, but I have seen the toll it has taken on Legolas to see his mortal friends pass him by and grow older and in some cases eventually die. Eowyn’s death was difficult enough, but when Faramir passed last year I was truly worried for the lad. Once the two of them had been quite close and had gotten into all sorts of adventures and mischief together. Faramir had lead a long fulfilling life and died an old man with his children, grandchildren and even one great grandchild around him, but it was still a terrible blow to my lad. And last time I saw Aragorn even he had grown rather feeble, relying on a walking stick to get around. I dare not think what his death will do to my elfling, which is why I have not encouraged him to take up with young Galinn. I cannot bear to see him hurt anymore by mortal friends. He is no longer strong enough to withstand it.

What he needs is to go where he can make friends his age that will stay that way. He has never in his life met another elfling, and there is only one way he ever will and that is to take ship. That is something that I intend to convince him of even if I have to use unfair tactics to do so. I do not wish to write to King Thranduil to inform him of Legolas poor condition, for to see him in such a state would break his poor father’s heart, but I will do so if I must, though I hope it does not come to that. What I would prefer would be to get the lad strong enough to travel to Eryn Lasgalen where I can unite with the King in trying to convince Legolas that he must go in the near future, and so I can tell Thranduil of my plan to sail as well, for I hope it will give him peace of mind to know that someone who cares deeply for his son will be with him for the long journey. It remains to be seen when I will inform Legolas of that choice.

First I will have to tell him of my plan to move to Ithilien so I can be near at hand at all times. In fact I expect to never be apart from him for the rest of my life whether he cares for the idea or not. He has forfeited any rights he had to be on his own when he allowed himself to get into such a terrible condition and made his elves swear not to go for help. It has become very clear that he is no longer making good decisions for himself, so it is my responsibility to take over and make them for him until such a time as he can manage on his own again. I know now that that will never happen in Middle Earth. I do not fault him for that, for it is something beyond his control, but I would be remiss in my duty if I were to ignore that fact, so moving to be with him permanently is the only option, even if it hurts his pride a bit for me to do so. What must be done, must be done and is best done cheerfully if possible. I have sworn not to lament my choice on the matter and hope he will be able to do the same, not that it will change my plans whatever he wishes. I plan to inform him of this very soon, but before even that can happen, I have to get him in better shape which begins with the small step of getting him to swallow some broth and then pray that he can manage to keep it down.

I greet Dorbryn and Thorûr, but do not linger with them. Instead I return to my elfling with the cup of heated broth to find him gazing off into space. I frown at this for this is what I am trying to avoid. He must not give in to the sounds of the sea, else we may never get him back. I sit next to him and stroke his cheek.

 

“Legolas, lad, look at me!” I demand. “No not over my shoulder, lamb. Look into my eyes and focus. I know it is not easy, but I insist! Good lad. Now can ye hold this cup?”  
He closes his eyes as if to steady himself, and reaches for the cup. He does manage to wrap a hand around it, but I keep hold of it myself as well for it is easy to see he is too weak and shaky to lift it to his lips. It takes a good long while to finish the broth since he only takes the smallest of sips in case his stomach decides to rebel and by the time the cup is empty I can see he is completely wrung out from the exertion, poor lad. I truly am sympathetic, but when his eyes begin to glaze I have to speak firmly again.

“Ye mustn’t focus on the sea sounds. It is not allowed. Are ye hearing them now lamb? Focus on my voice and answer me, youngling!”

He makes a great effort and focuses on my face.

“I am trying not to hear them Gimli, but it is very hard.”

“Aye, lamb, I know it is,” I say sympathetically. “But ye must tell me when it happens so I can help ye refocus on something else. Ye may sleep or ye may talk with me or even just listen to me talk, but ye may not allow your mind to wander no matter how tempting it is to do so. Is that plain?”

He nods, but his eyes start to glaze again until I object once more.

“Use words, Legolas. When ye address me I expect ye to speak.”

He glances toward me and I am encouraged to see that he is a little annoyed with me. It is better than the blank staring by a long sight., but he does not voice his annoyance instead he sighs and answers.

“All right Elvellon, I will do my best.”

“I couldna ask for more than that,” I answer, patting his hand. “Now are ye in any pain? Tell the truth now laddie.”

“A little,” he admits, though I think it could be more than that by the looks of him.

“What hurts?”

“My head, my throat, my shoulder.”

“Captain Galathil says ye managed to strain your shoulder on the journey here, so ye only need to rest it for a while. Once ye are up and about again we’ll see about getting a sling to keep it still. For now I’ve asked Dorbryn to mix up something for your pain and to help ye relax, though we won’t make it as strong as last night. I need to be able to rouse ye enough to eat. What ye need is some good quality sleep and plenty of small meals. That will be your only duty for the next little while, eating, sleeping and keeping your thoughts in the present. I will do my best to help ye with that, but ye must cooperate and do exactly as I say. And there is no point in rolling your eyes, elfling. Ye are not to move from this bed until ye have gained my permission to do so, and ye will eat what I bring ye without discussion. I will tell ye now I am not best pleased with ye for lying to me about your health, for that is a dangerous game to play, so I suggest ye dinna attempt to cross me in this matter. I love ye as my own child and would do anything for ye, but ye are on very thin ice already. Ye will sorely regret it if ye choose to defy me.”

He actually smiles at that, for he knows as well as I do that he is perfectly safe at the moment. I smile as well, and lean in to kiss him on the forehead, but I point a warning finger in his face as well.

“Dinna think I will not keep account of your naughtiness, lamb. Ye may be too skinny now, but ye’ll be over my knee soon enough if ye refuse to behave. Ye’d best keep that in mind.”

“I will,” he promises, as Dorbryn enters with a small amount of laced tea. Again I help him with the cup and then to lie back on the pillows again.

“Now why don’t ye turn over and let me rub that sore shoulder a little while I tell ye about what Greirr and I have planned for our new breweries…”

I chatter on, pausing from time to time to get him to respond to me, just to remind him that he is required to pay attention, though when he begins to relax under my hand, I change to singing and then soft humming. Very soon he is resting peacefully again. 

 

The days that follow fall into a similar pattern with Legolas sleeping a great deal of the time and with me spending most of my time holed up with him, coercing him to eat and insisting that he talk with me, or listen to me talk, or read or sing or anything else I can think of to distract his mind from the call of the sea. Others come to join us and even to spell me on occasion, but for the most part I am as confined as he is. Eventually he is able to rise and make his way to the bathing chamber with help so that he can begin tending to his own most personal needs mostly by himself. It is a happy occasion when he is able to manage to bathe in a real tub rather than to make do with my clumsy attempts at helping him with a sponge bath. Afterwards I brush out his hair and sit with him in front of the fire to dry it, before helping him back to bed. He is exhausted but triumphant, and manages to get me to promise that he may sit in the main room tomorrow to visit with the rest of the folks

As promised, the next day I help him to dress warmly and then sit before the fire in Mam’s favorite chair, with a blanket wrapped around his narrow shoulders. He is still scarecrow thin, but at least the unnatural pallid color of his skin has changed to a healthier looking one. A stream of visitors come to see him over the next couple of days: Dorbryn and Thorûr of course, Greirr and his wife, young Galinn, elderly Mistress Lilja, who brings a sling for his damaged shoulder, but refrains from asking too many nosy questions. Galathil and Saelind visit as often as they can as well. The other elves have already gone back to Ithilien having been given assignments by Captain Galathil. By rights it is Legolas’ job to do so, but I managed to convince Galathil that the lad should not be bothered over such things.. No one is encouraged to stay very long, but it is a good distraction for the lad as he continues to heal. On the third day of his liberation from bed, I decide to invite some key folks to visit, for it is time to reveal my plan to retire as Lord of Aglarond. There are a lot of people who will be affected, and they should be informed. Besides I need my lad to begin getting used to the idea so that by the time he is well enough to leave, I will not need to argue with him over it. 

So late in the morning I encourage Legolas into the main room and then I usher in Captain Galathil and Captain Saelind, who will soon have to put up with me on a daily basis, and my nephew Greirr, who will be most effected of all. It is he who will need to take my place here. Soon everyone is settled comfortably with a glass of wine or ale, or in Legolas case warmed milk, and water that is flavored with sugar and tea, a drink my esteemed mother always called cambric tea for its resemblance to the fabric.

It is a drink often served to children in place of ‘real’ or ‘grownup’ tea, to make them feel included in the custom. I have no idea if he realizes the story behind the drink, but in his case it is because alcoholic drinks are not good for him. He hasn’t enough body mass to deal with it and it will not help him gain weight as the cambric tea will. Plain milk might be better, but after his first experience with that this visit, he hasn’t been keen on it and I have not the heart to insist. I can hardly blame him for not wanting to drink it after that first cup came back up for a second look.

Whatever the case, whenever everyone is settled comfortably and have visited for a few minutes, I clear my throat to gain their attention. When all eyes turn toward me, I take a deep breath and begin speaking. 

“I have called ye all here for a reason, for I have something I wish to say,” I begin. “There are important decisions that need to be made regarding the future, and I wished to have ye all here together to discuss them.”

There are nods all around, all except for Legolas, who goes paler than he already was if that is possible. Still it must be said.

“There is no use in pretending that my lad here has not declined in health, and I feel it is my place to take some action in that regard. Dinna look so distraught lamb, it is better to face the truth. As I was saying…”

But Legolas clearly is not interested in what I have to say, for rather than listening he merely blurts out.

“No! I am not ready yet!”

Before I can say anything more, Galathil has gotten to his feet. 

“I may be speaking out of turn, but this matter is too important to worry over decorum,” He turns to Legolas. “Listen to him Prince Legolas. You will not be able to endure forever you know. It is a fight you cannot possibly win, no matter how strong or how determined you are.”

Saelind adds his mite to the discussion as well.

“We will miss you, my prince, but it is for your own good. You have been fighting the call for over eighty years since you watched Master Amavar sail into the West. It is too long already!”

“Recall that we persuaded you to come to Aglarond for help even back then?” Galathil adds. “Lord Gimli has ever only wished to help you, so forgive me for saying so, but you will do well to pay attention when he has something to say.”

Legolas becomes flustered at this and flushes, as I frown, for that is not how things happened. Evidently some information has been kept from the good captain. 

“What do ye mean he heard the call eighty years ago?,” I demand. “He was first exposed to the sea in Pelargir, way back during the year of the Ring War. We were together when it happened and I recall it as if it were yesterday though it was a decade beyond a hundred years ago.”

Saelind and Galathil look at one another in amazement.

“One hundred and ten years of fighting the sea longing?” Galathil sputters, obviously amazed. “How did we not know this?”

“I am not young, but never have I heard of anyone enduring the call for so long,” Saelind explains to me when I must look baffled. I had not known such a thing was so unusual. “You really must consider taking ship with all haste,” he is practically begging now, “for as difficult as you find it to accept, nature must prevail in the end.”

“You do not understand,” Legolas exclaims, nearly panicked now. “I cannot sail, not yet. It is impossible. I have things that must be taken care of…”

He is nearly babbling now, and the tears that stand in his eyes are dangerously close to falling. I regret having brought this up in front of anyone else. I should have prepared him first, but I had not expected so many revelations to occur, nor had I expected the two Captains to react so vehemently. Also they have jumped a step in assuming I was talking of Legolas’ sailing. I close my eyes and sigh heartily over the mess I have made of this, and then hurry to reassure my elfling. I pull him to his feet and then sit in Mam’s chair, pulling him in beside me. 

“You must understand, Gimli, I just cannot…I have made promises…I…I…”

Rather than trying to makes sense of what he is trying to say right now for I will work out this puzzle later, I shush him and pull him in close. He turns his head into my shoulder and I know he is weeping silently. I also know he will not want anyone else to realize it, so I motion for them to keep quiet, while I attempt to explain myself.

“Ye mustn’t take on so,” I say to the top of his golden head. “Ye have only misunderstood my intentions, and so has everyone else. I was not speaking of your sailing, at least not right now. My intention was to tell everyone of my plan to retire as Lord of the Glittering Caves and to move to in Eryn gîl Ithil. I am no longer keen to be away from ye, Lamb, that’s all. Settle down now, child. Ye must conserve your strength.”

As has become my pattern, I continue to offer soft words of support, and he calms enough that what I am saying finally evidently sinks in. He sits up and wipes his eyes on his sleeve before looking at me in surprise. 

“You can’t do that!” he informs me.

“Why ever not?” I ask. 

“But I cannot ask such a sacrifice of you!”

“Ye are not asking, lamb, it was my idea alone.”

“But, Gimli, I can’t let you do such a thing! This is your home and you love it here. Your family is here. Who will take care of Aglarond?”

“Ye are my family, lamb, and wherever ye are will be my home. Greirr is more than prepared to take over as Lord here, and it is quite likely he will let us visit from time to time. As far as ‘letting’ me do such a thing, I canna really think of a way ye can stop me, elfling, unless ye can convince Aragorn to ban me from Gondor, which I dinna think is likely. It is not your place to tell me where I can live. It is my choice to make, not yours!”

“But…”

“Legolas, my lad, I am not asking ye what I should do, I am simply informing ye of my decision. By the time ye are recovered enough to return home, I will have gotten my affairs in order to go with ye. I merely called everyone here tonight to tell them of my plans, for all here will be affected by this decision. Most especially Greirr here. Do ye think ye are ready to take over here as lord, nephew?”

“I have been preparing for it for a long time,” he answers solemnly. “It is a little sudden, but I am ready and I will do my best to follow in your path, Uncle.” Here he looks at Legolas, where he sits half in my lap. The child still appears to be all eyes and long hair and looks gaunt and fragile enough to break in half with one hand. Greirr adds, “In fact I believe it is a wise choice. There is no shame in accepting help, Legolas.”

“Of course there isn’t,” Galathil hurries to agree. “Anyone who has been fighting the call of the sea for one hundred and ten years is bound to need help. Such a thing is unheard of! Saelind here can ride ahead and make ready for your arrival.”

“Of course,” Saelind agrees. “It will be the best for everyone involved.” 

No doubt he is thinking that Legolas will no longer be able to demand outrageous oaths from them if I am right there keeping a close watch on him.

By now Legolas is frowning at this discussion that is going on around him without his input.

“Am I to have nothing to say in the matter?” he grumbles, though at least he is no longer so panicked and distraught. 

“Nay, lamb, I am afraid not. My choice has been made,” I tell him, and then wink. “Though I am beginning to feel a little unwanted here laddie…”

“Do not say that Elvellon. You know you are always welcome. It is just, this place…your caverns…”

“Will still be here, only it will be ruled by my capable nephew and heir. It is not something to mourn over but something to celebrate, and dwarven celebrations are the best celebrations. Of course we will have a proper ceremony and feast to honor the passing of the ceremonial axe!”

I raise my glass to this idea, and to bring an end to this discussion for now. Everyone joins me, all looking pleased at this solution I have proposed. Legolas alone still seems worried and unconvinced, but at least I have planted the idea and he is not exactly openly objecting anymore. I pull him down to kiss his temple and whisper in his ear.

“Trust me lamb, and let me take care of things. All will be well in the end, I promise ye. I will personally see to it.”


	5. Legolas' pov

All will be well in the end, Gimli said but I am not so certain. Oh the outcome of the meeting was less terrible than I had initially feared. I thought as did just about everyone there that Gimli was saying it was time for me to sail. The Valar be praised that, that was not the case.

But even so his announcement came as a shock, and I am as yet unable to say what I truly feel about it. Of course I welcome Gimli when he visits but to have him with me all of the time?

The sensible side of my nature tells me that with the increasing frequency and seriousness of the sea longing bouts I need someone to anchor me to Middle Earth and there is no one more capable of doing that than Gimli son of Gloin. Some might think I would be better off retreating to Eryn Lasgalen, but we elves seem incapable of diverting the pain of the call no matter how hard we try while Gimli has shown on this occasion as on many others that not only can bring me back from the brink but can also act as a kind of buffer to the longing. I do not know how he does it but I am grateful for it. My father would do everything possible to help me, I know, but it would avail him of nothing in the end save to make him unhappy and I would not add the burden of my ‘condition’ to my Adar’s many troubles. He I know cannot leave Arda while any of his folk remain. He may never leave, which serves as another reason for me to wish to stay as long as I possibly can. I do not wish to lose both of my fathers in one fell swoop.

But while I know all of this and am grateful, a small part of me fears that with Gimli always at my side my life will be very much more ‘controlled’ and Gimli has some quite draconian views on what is suitable or appropriate conduct as far as I am concerned. Do I really wish to go back to being supervised and ordered about? I have become accustomed to making my own choices of deciding things for myself.

And look where that has got you! My conscience pricks me once more. How selfish I am being. Were it not for Gimli’s care the likelihood is that I would have completely succumbed to the sea longing this time for I had no reserves left to battle it with, and had it not been for Galathil and Saellind bringing me to Aglarond I may well have lost what little reason I still possess.

Gimli is offering me a life line, an opportunity to remain in Middle Earth and here I sit wondering how my life will be affected by his presence? The reality is that my life here on Arda is dependent on my dwarf standing beside me. 

Galathil and Saellind obviously agree, for they very much welcomed his announcement, before that they had both pleaded with me to take ship, thinking that they were supporting Gimli’s view that it was time for me to sail, if, when Gimli comes to Ithilien they will make a powerful triumvirate especially now that Galathil seems to have joined the growing number of Gimli’s supporters. Is that what I fear? That I will no longer be able to manipulate and order them as I have done in the past?

I have treated Galathil and Saellind badly and know it. I have not yet acknowledged the role they played in getting me to safety and I know they fear that I will at some point take action against them for insubordination, but how could I possibly do that? It would be at the least ungrateful and worse than that bullying and arrogant. And should Gimli ever find out I had done so, I would not give a groat for the safety of my rear end. 

I had better take time to speak with them and tell them how grateful I am for their care of me on the flight to Aglarond. I recall very little of the journey. Saellind told me that for much of the time I was incoherent and my mind was wandering. I rode before the pair of them having taken a fall when I attempted to ride alone. How I must have frightened them. Galathil said that he has never been so much relieved as when he got his first glimpse of the canal that runs from Edoras to Helms Deep. He told me that he had begun to despair of them getting me to Gimli in time, which shows how desperately ill I must have been. It is only in the last few days that I have recovered sufficiently to actually be able to sit up for part of the day and I am still weak. My legs traitorously refuse to support me so that I have to rely on someone to help me to even walk across a room.  
And my mind is still clouded, not as bad as it was but to be unaware for so long, to be unable to remember is a terrible thing. For elves memory is everything. It is what makes us.

I have seen some mortals, who towards the end of their lives have lost their wits and become confused and frightened but I would never have thought that I would suffer similarly. Gimli says I will recover and I have to just be patient. I am more fortunate than many it seems and would do well to remember and acknowledge that instead of repining and whinging and now I am back to how ungrateful I am being to wonder whether I wish for Gimli to come and live in Eryn gîl Ithil.

Of course I wish it, but is that not also selfish of me? All I seem to do is take from Gimli. What do I give him in return save worry and concern? And now he has declared that he is willing to give up his own home and his lordship of the Glittering Caves, to cut himself off from his remaining kin and all because of me. And I sit here thinking he may curtail some of my more outrageous activities with his presence? I deserve to be flogged. 

Gimli would sacrifice all he has worked for and all he loves to enable me to remain in Middle Earth. Is that not what I want more than anything, what I almost blurted out when we sat and talked earlier? Here I am being offered the opportunity to stay and fulfil my oath and rather than rejoice I raise objections in my mind over my losing some of my independence. Without Gimli I would likely have no independence at all, no choice but to sail. Will not the fact that he is in Ithilien allow me to perhaps offer him support as he grows older to ensure that his last wishes are carried out properly and he is laid to rest within the Glittering Caves as befits its first and greatest lord?

That thought makes me want to weep anew. How will I live without him by my side?

“Here now Lamb no more tears,” Gimli comes back into the main room having seen Greirr and the others out, and no doubt speaking with his nephew over the decisions he has made and ensuring he is really ready to take over Lordship of Aglarond.

“Gimli I cannot ask you to leave your home.”

Not what I intended to say, but I feel I have to give him a chance to change his mind. I should have known better of course.

“Ye have not asked it of me. Did I not already tell you that? It is my choice and Greirr is more than ready to take on the mantle of lordship. He will make a fine successor and a good leader and I will have more time to concentrate on what is important to me.” He pauses then and then asks “You do wish me to be with you?”

I am ashamed at the doubt I can hear in Gimli’s voice. Have I been so ungrateful so unthinking? It behooves me to say what is in my heart.

“Of course I do, but to take you away from all you love would be wrong. As much as I desire your company there are others who have a call on you as well, your own folk, your own family.”

Gimli looks for a moment as if he is angered by my words then he laughs, “Ye daft elf, where else would I wish to be except with you? You are my family and the one I love more than any other. In all ways ye are my son, my child, my heir. I swore an oath to your father, child, and I will not break it while I have breath in my body. When ye are well enough we will depart Aglarond and I will not regret it I swear it.”

Mention of an oath, of course, reminds me of mine. I wonder if I should confess but decide now is not the time. Instead I make a promise to myself that before I leave Aglarond I will reaffirm it here on the altar of Zârgharâf.

For now I make one more effort to persuade Gimli that he has no need to give up his life for mine. I tell him that I will from now on call for him if there is need.

“I will not wait, nor prevent Galathil from coming for you if he believes it necessary.”

I may as well save my breath; it seems that having made his decision Gimli will not be swayed by any efforts of mine.

“It isn’a as if I will never come back to the caves” he tells me, “I am sure you and I will be regular visitors as we travel about, but it is past time that Greirr was given an opportunity to put all he has learned into practice. He tells me he is ready and I believe him and while I am still in Middle Earth he can always seek my advice if he has need of it. Ye should appreciate that laddie, for ye were given a similar opportunity by your Adar and Aragorn. Now if you have no more arguments to put forward, I think it might be time for you to get some more rest.”

I know he is right. I am exhausted both physically and emotionally, but there is one thing I wish to sort out first.

“I would like to speak with Greirr.” 

Bushy eyebrows almost meet in the middle.

“And why would that be?”  
I can see where this conversation may be going and hurry to appease my hirsute guardian,.

“I am not thinking of trying to dissuade him from taking up the mantle of lord here, that is not something I have a right to interfere with. It is just that I would wish to hand on the amulet that Greirr gave me when he came of age.” I do not add that it is unlikely that Greirr will still be alive by the time I come of age, nor that there is one other thing I would like to ask the next Lord of Aglarond to do. “You know I have never taken it from here. Not because I do not treasure it, but because I think this is where it belongs and I believe that now would be a good time to pass it on to Greirr’s son Galinn, but I would wish to ask Greirr about it first.”

Gimli nods approval for this plan.

“That is a good thought Lamb, but not tonight. Tonight ye need your rest and Greirr has enough to think about. If you can get a full nights sleep, and eat all that is put in front of ye in the morning, then I will see that Greirr comes to call tomorrow. Will that suit you?”

I would sooner deal with what I wish to discuss with my dwarven brother tonight but Gimli is correct. I am exhausted and tomorrow will come soon enough and then I can ask Greirr to arrange for me to have an opportunity to visit the altar and rededicate my oath before I leave. So I nod and allow myself to be steered back into my bedchamber. Sleep comes swiftly and as with all the other nights since I came to Aglarond there are no dreams of the sea.

I wake much refreshed and with new hope that with Gimli’s support I can beat or at least survive the bane of the call of the sea and a nights rest has also brought me to the realization that there is no chance that I will be able to persuade Gimli to remain in Aglarond if he has chosen otherwise. All I can do is give him what support I can as he prepares to hand over Lordship here. It will be an emotional enough time for him without my moping and giving the impression I do not want his company.

So, today I will speak with Galathil and Saellind, and give them orders as to preparations to be made in Eryn gîl Ithil so that all is in order for our arrival. If Gimli is coming to live there I want everything to be right for him. He has his own rooms already but I think that it would be good if additional chambers were cleared so that any extra furnishings and items he wishes to bring can be properly housed. 

I manage to bathe and dress unaided, a small but very welcome improvement, and then I make my way into the main day chamber. Gimli is already at work seated at the table busy writing but he looks up as I enter.

“Well now, ye are looking a deal better than ye did. Come and sit down. Dorbryn is in the kitchen making ye something to tempt your appetite.”

I look in the direction of the kitchen, doubt assailing me as I wonder if Dorbryn and Thorûr have been told about Gimli’s move to Ithilien. Will they resent me for making this necessary and leaving Greirr to take up the responsibilities of Lord?

Were it not for me that would not happen not for many years yet.

As if he can read my mind, Gimli pats my hand.

“Greirr told his mam and da last night Lamb, and they both support my decision.”

“Indeed we do,” Dorbryn calls out, “where else should Gimli be save with his heart-son? And it is not as if ye will be that far away that we will not see the pair of ye, at least at first.”

She bustles in on these words and puts a platter of food in front of me. 

“Now eat up. You are as skinny as a bean pole.”

She then chatters on asking Gimli about various bits of furnishings and hangings that she thinks he should carry away with him,.

“And you must take Mam’s chair and her favorite quilt. She would never forgive you if you left them behind.”

Both Gimli and I look at the chair with its bright quilt hanging from the back of it. Gimli looks as if he is about to demur, for it has sat in that spot since Lady Vonild moved to Erebor, but then he sees my eyes upon it. That chair holds so many memories for me. It is where I have received so much comfort and care, and he nods in agreement. 

“Aye ye are correct sister, and with the canal we can carry some of the other heavier items at least as far as Edoras and then get them taken on from there by heavy wains. We will be quite a cavalcade when we set out.”

“Gimli…”

“My mind is made up Lamb.” he interrupts me before I have a chance to begin, “let us not argue over it, but concentrate on getting ye well enough to travel.”

I nod meekly and turn my attention to my meal for I know if I do not eat much of the food on my plate there will be no chance of my going off to speak with Saellind. 

Gimli watches me struggling to swallow and eventually pulls the plate away.

“There is no need to make yourself sick again. I think ye have done well enough for now. Now I have things that I canna put off. Is there anything I can do for ye before I go?”

“I would like to speak with Galathil and Saellind” I answer, “only to reassure them that all is well between us and to give some orders to Saellind before he rides south.” I add when Gimli’s brow creases into a frown.

“Well I will send them to ye, but do not overdo things. Greirr said to tell ye he will come in to see ye this afternoon but mind me if ye feel tired ye are to say so. There is no rush for us to move. There are many things to be done here first and plenty of time for ye to rest and recover.”

I promise to take care and Gimli goes on his way. Dorbryn follows soon after having cleared up the table and left me wrapped in Mam’s quilt sitting by the fire. I find after the food and the warmth I am soon dozing and I jump when the door opens and Saellind and Galathil enter to receive my orders.

They are both looking wary, so I offer them a smile and ask them to sit.

“I wish to apologize” I begin making them both stare, “I should have listened to your advice and asked for support earlier. I am grateful for what you both did for me. Gimli was what I needed even if I was too stubborn and proud to admit it myself.”

“We are just relieved that you are looking so much better Hir Nin and hope that with Lord Gimli to support you things will be a little easier from now on.”

“I hope so too,” I answer, “and speaking of Gimli, his presence will bring differences for us all I think.” 

I address these words to Galathil who has never fully accepted Gimli or any mortal as an equal.

He has the grace to flush a little.

“I have the greatest respect for Lord Gimli,” he tells me, “and I owe him a debt I can never repay, for he has done what we have been unable to do, bring you back from the brink and from the necessity of sailing for a while longer. I will make it my business to see that he has no need to complain of my attitude towards him when he comes to Eryn gîl Ithil to make his home with us. Indeed I have every intention of making him very welcome.”

“Thank you Galathil. I am certain that the two of you will become if not great friends then certainly strong allies, with a shared interest in keeping me in check.” 

Saellind turns his laugh into a cough at this and even stern Galathil smirks at the thought of having Gimli on his side when I am bent on doing something he would consider ‘unwise’.

“As for you Captain,” I turn my attention to Saellind who straightens, “you will have your work cut out trying to keep the three of us from strangling each other when we clash as we inevitably will.” 

Now we all laugh, for Saellind has always been the peace maker between Gimli and Galathil.

“I will do my best Hir Nin” he replies, and then we go on to discuss what needs to be put into hand for our return to Ithilien. When they have both departed I doze again, waking only when Dorbryn brings in some soup and fresh bread for my noon meal. When she leaves then I walk back into my bed chamber and take out the amulet that Greirr gave me all those years before.

I turn it over and over in my hands thinking of all the changes that I have seen since I first met a very small Greirr back in Erebor. Now he is about to take on the lordship here in Aglarond. He has a wife and son of his own and I … I turn my thoughts to other things for that route is full of old pain and resentment that does no one any good, least of all me. As Mam once said each race matures in its own time as decreed by the One and there is nothing we can do to change that fact.

I am still thinking over these things when Greirr comes in and I can see that already he has begun to take on the mantle of his new position. He looks somehow older, more formal but then he grins and ruffles my hair and asks what he can do for me.

“There are two things. The first is easy enough. I wish to give you back your amulet and ask that you give it to your son. I think that it is time for it to be handed on to a new generation.”

Greirr takes the arm band I hold out.

“thank you Legolas I know that Galinn will treasure it knowing it has come from you. I hope that you will continue to come here as often as you can and still see it as your home. You are family after all.”

“I hope to be able to do so and I will do my best to ensure Gimli spends time here as well. I feel guilty enough for taking him away from his home the least I can do is encourage him to visit when he can.”

Greirr takes my hand in his, “there is nothing to feel guilty about brother, Gimli has long intended to do this. He spoke of it when Mam was still alive and had her blessing for his choice and for his other plans as well.” 

“What plans?” 

Greirr looks conscious stricken as if he has said something he ought not to, then rallies.

“That I cannot divulge. You know uncle Gimli. He likes to keep his secrets until he is ready to divulge them, so there is no point in asking me further questions. Tell me instead what the second thing is ye wished to speak with me about.”

I allow myself to be diverted for Greirr is correct in saying that Gimli never speaks of things until he is ready. It may well be that he talked to Mam about his plans for when he dies and I have my own secrets to keep on that score.

“I have a request to make,” I begin, “I want to reaffirm an oath I made many years ago on the Altar of Zârgharâf but I will need your help to get there.”

Greirr frowns and looks alarmingly like Gimli when he does so. 

“When did you swear such an oath? You are not yet of age and should not even have seen the altar yet.”

I am prepared for this and answer easily enough. 

“You forget that Gimli gained permission for me to watch the Equinox oath taking from the King under the Mountain years ago.”

“Aye so he did, but that did not confer on you the right to make an oath of your own.”

“Well I have and I did. Will you help me re-affirm it? I only need to touch the stone and leave a lapis stone in the bowl, but I cannot do it alone and if I am with you no one will ask questions of me.”

“Why not ask Uncle Gimli to take you?” 

I look down at my hands which are twisted in the edges of the quilt.

“He does not know about it and I would sooner he did not find out yet. I will tell him when the time is right I promise. It is not something that you would think was wrong I swear. I just need to do this! It is important for me to do it! Please Greirr.”

“Gimli will skin me alive if he ever finds out, but I can see this is important to you, so yes I will take you to the altar and hope that neither of us gets into trouble because of it.”

I am so relieved that I will be able to reaffirm my promise that all I can do is say “Thank you I hope that is the case as well.”

Since there is no time like the present and Gimli is likely to be absent for some time, Greirr and I go the hall immediately and while he watches on I place my offering of a lapis stone in the bowl beneath the covered altar then with one hand on the stone and one on the pendant I wear about my neck I reaffirm my oath to stay with Gimli to the end no matter what.

I struggle to make the walk back and in the end give into Greirr’s entreaties to let him carry me. It is embarrassing, but it could be a great deal worse, Greirr points out, if Gimli were to find me out and about. We make it back safely and I am tucked back under the quilt by the time Gimli returns and we spend the evening in quiet conversation. I feel a great sense of peace within in me I know I have done what is right and can now look forward to going home and taking my beloved dwarf with me.


	6. Epilogue: Gimli's POV

As we reach the top of the tallest of the hills of Helm’s Dike I call for the first halt of our journey. We have been on the road for several hours now and it is my desire that we take things very slowly and carefully. Of course Legolas is quick to object, though I suspect it is more out of habit than anything else for he has already drawn his horse to a stop.

“We have plenty of time to make it to Ithilien before the weather turns,” I tell him, handing him a bag full of food supplies packed for us by my esteemed sister. “There is no point in undoing all the progress we’ve made in your health in the last couple of months is there? Besides I need a smoke.”

We both dismount and stretch a bit before settling on the ground to relax a little before moving on. I am happy to see my lad begin searching through the supplies with interest, for it is a great relief to see his appetite returned almost to normal. With some encouragement from me, I expect he will be up to his normal weight very soon, something I feared would never happen this side of the sea. In fact only someone who knows him very well would notice the slight tremor of his hands and the slightly dimmed glow of his complexion to realize he is not just as he has always been. How long this will prevail is questionable, which is a big part of my reason for moving. I intend to begin campaigning for him to at least consider that he needs to sail before too much longer, or at least begin making preparations to do so. He has survived this episode of the sea longing, but this one opened my eyes to the fact that his time in Middle Earth is coming to a close. He must make a move before he has no strength left to make the trip. For now I do not mention any of this, for it would only cause him stress, and it is difficult enough for him to finally admit to needing me by his side full time. 

Instead I light my pipe and look out into the distance where I can just see the top of the tower of the Hornburg. I let my mind wander back to the first time I set my eyes on my beloved caves and how struck I was by their natural beauty, and of how I had to practically drag my elfling to look at them with me later on. He was nearly as impressed as I was, even with his dislike of the deeper places of the earth. What an honor to be able to make such a place my home and the home of many of my folks for so many years. I never dreamed to have the chance to hold dominion over such a place or to have the opportunity to enhance and shape it to the glorious place it is today. I shall miss it always, I suppose, but it was the right decision to choose to leave

Besides it was it was a joy to be able to bestow Lordship on my nephew and to get to personally hand over the symbolic axe. Greirr had looked serious and regal as he bowed before me and swore an oath to care for Aglarond and its denizens, and then turned to raise the axe to the cheering crowd. The celebrations had lasted until the wee hours of dawn, with songs being sung in my honor, besides the traditional songs of Durin’s folk. One thing I had insisted on was that we wait for the ceremony until my elfling was recovered enough to attend the entire event, for it was important to me to have him by side for such an emotional and significant occasion. Once I convinced him I would not change my mind, Legolas turned his attention toward being as supportive as possible. I was more than a little proud to walk beside him as he escorted me toward the raised dais where Greirr’s oath was to take place while Dorbryn and the others looked on from the top table. Such occasions are meant to be shared with family. 

 

Greirr’s first order of business as Lord was to organize arrangements for my move. My furnishings and personal items have been sent ahead of us, so that everything could be made ready for our arrival. Greirr had done his best to convince me to bring an escort of guards, but I preferred to journey alone with my lad. There is little to harm us between here and there these days and with just the two of us traveling he is more likely to admit to needing to slow down or take a break. And it is a wonderful opportunity for it to be just the two of us before he returns to his role as Prince. A role that will most certainly be changed from what it was before, for I intend to watch closely and act before he gets in such a poor condition again. 

I am still blowing smoke and staring out at the tower when a voice interrupts my musings.

“Gimli?”

I turn to see Legolas watching me, and beginning to look concerned, no doubt worried that I am looking back and repining in my heart. I smile reassuringly and wink, to show him that I am content.

“We’ve already been over this lamb,” I tell him. “This is what I want to do.”

He smiles back and nods without commenting again seemingly at peace as well. I reach out to pat his knee and he leans his head onto my shoulder, and I think we both know this is the right choice. My place is with my heart son. Where he is will be my home from now on, even if that means that there is another great adventure ahead for the two of us. 

I will not regret my choice.


End file.
